Time waits for no one, no matter who you are. Time flies for the past 7 months I have been in JC. It's already 7 months, and without the best companions around. Fate seems undecided, whether what will I be doing this period of time next year, whether still preparing for Promos or preparation for the 'A' Levels. Trying my very best to prepare myself for the Promos, but still time is short. Will set a good and realistic target for myself for the Promos.

A fine line between arrogance and self-confidence. Believing arrogance is no going to bring you anywhere.

What is gone, is gone. Never going to be able to revive the past.

Pointless to hold back things that are not meant to be. Meaningless.

Fatigue has took a toll on the body. Falling apart.

Been lacking the self-discipline to study at home. Just cannot put myself to work and study.

Fearful feelings surrounding me, with knowing the consequence of not preparing enough for examination at this point of time. Unlike in the past, where I can just study at the very last minute, and still manage to scrap through. This is not going to work at this level, where the weakest are being eliminated and tolerates no any other excuses for not doing so.

Recently, not being the usual me. Don't really feel like talking much to anyone, just facing the walls around me. Maybe, I am used to the loneliness. Perhaps, I just enjoy the silence from the environment. Possibly due to my laziness to even talk. Just don't really understand what is going on within me actually.

Could have lost the purpose of interactions with people, or just cannot find anything to talk about. I am just a bored person. Boring.

Might have lost myself.

School starting in just a few hours, and I am left with tons of work to be finished.

Chances are hard to come by. If only I had cherished those chances and not run away from everything. Always giving reason for every actions done, avoiding it by all means. After given the chances and avoided the opportunity, then regretting about what I have done.

Only best at thinking about the endless possibilities, but yet not putting it down into good use. Ending up only as a bubble of hope. Been trying to protect this little bubble of hope and thinking that it will not burst. After all, it is a bubble and will burst eventually, in just a matter of time. Perhaps I should stop making this bubble to grow bigger, and maybe burst it myself one day when I find the courage to do so.

If I still live in this bubble of hope, I will only live in this virtual world and things will never happen if there are no actions done.

Wake me up from this pool of hope I have lying in for so long.

One week holiday will be ending very soon, with only a day left. Haven't done anything productive for the whole of the holiday, supposed to be studying but instead doing nothing except watching television, playing PSP and playing facebook games.

In just about two more weeks, comes the promotional examination. Shall study in school for the next two weeks in school, to increase my productive capacity, by improving the quality of my study-force, as well as, increasing the quantity of study hours. Hope that will be able to help in the end.

Why do I just lack the courage to just face reality?
Why do I always avoid the truth?
Why can't I just face up to the harsh reality that things are the way it is?
Maybe I just a tortoise that hides my head whenever I have to face the truth, and just lacking the courage to face it. Perhaps, I'm just a coward in your sense.

What an utter failure I am.

The whole week was painful, after injuring my back falling from the see-saw. Until this moment, it still hurts very much and cannot really move much. This is giving me so much problem and discomfort whenever I sit down for long hours, and during lecture. I cannot even bend down to pick up stuffs that is dropped onto the floor, but instead have to kneel down to get my stuffs. Taking panadol extra to reduce the pain, although it works, but then that is not solution to cure this problem and also possess danger to the body. Might consult on doctor if the pain is really too unbearable or maybe one day when I cannot even step out of the bed. But for during this critical period, it is not the time to be down, will have to be strong and endure these last few months.

Did a practice paper on Friday and that gave me much reflection and new perspective on how I should face life.

The passage was quite inspirational, with it talking about two different people went to the hospital to do a check-up on their nose, as they were afraid it might be nose cancer and so they decided if they really had been diagnosed with nose cancer, they will list out a list of things to be done and their wishes. Person A was diagnosed with nose cancer, whereas the other is fine with some minor aliment. So Person A left a note with his list of things, so as to live his life to the fullest before he dies, whereas Person B was so happy that he is fine and forgotten about the his list of things and proceed with life as usual.

During this period while Person A was still alive, he managed to fulfill many of his dreams and things he really wanted to do, and completed almost 27 items on his wish list. Whereas Person B continues with his monotonous life. Person B came across an article published by Person A on the newspaper, and called upon Person A to ask about his conditions and how has him been. Person A said: " I've been doing fine, and especially after completed the things on my wish list. How have you been then? Should be doing fine, after knowing you are fine." Person B was speechless.

Reading this passage really brought about many thoughts in my mind and reflection upon my own life so far. I realised that I do not really know what I really want, and spent the last 16 years into education. Am I doing studying in JC for what I really want or is it due to the society that forced me into this circumstances? Some things are not really within the control of everyone, however, there are also other things that you can control. For instance, one can really forgo everything and fulfill his dreams, whereas some chooses to follow what the society wants and forgo his dreams. It's a choice between what we really want and what we have to accept. Perhaps that's life. Since I am already in this situation, and do not really have much choice, but to really accept and work towards the ultimate goal at the end.

Life is short, and nobody can predict what the future holds. Accidents may cause you to regret for the rest of your life, or some don't even have the chance to regret. So, if there things you really wish to do or fulfill, don't hold back and go ahead. Don't allow yourself to regret at the end, without achieving your dreams and wishes.

Why do I lack the courage to talk to you? Why do I stumble upon my on words when I try to talk to you? Am I proving to be a weakling? Probably, perhaps and maybe. This might just be the greatest regret I will ever have.

New phone, new month, new perspective and new me.

Definitely has to change things the way it is, shouldn't let this current on further. Should be revising for promos, but yet, I am still having my nap and playing my psp till its flat. This isn't conducive at all, and has to find a solution to it very very soon, otherwise, the grades when I get back at the end of the year, will be cause a huge upset on me.

I should just do things it was just like last year. Last year this time, was spending time at RP doing practice papers and TYS, and surely hardwork has paid off with the results that I got back. This might just inspire and motivate to start studying, although 29 days left. Not much time left, but will have to make do with what I am left with.

Stop procrastinating and start on the main objective for the year and purpose of entering into a JC.

Teacher's Day celebration at NY was considered a total failure. ACES day dance, as usual, I don't participate since in secondary school. When to slack around at MacDonald nearby and waited for time to pass. When back to NY to play some tennis, and after that went to collect the Written Report for PW.

After that, came back to Woodlands, intended to go back to Riverside to visit the teachers. Waited for the Zhenkai and Guanwei to go back. We were not allowed back in, as the stipulated time for school hours are over, and cannot go in and visit the teachers. Rather disappointing though, but after that went to collect basketball from Reynard's house and played basketball for awhile till it started to rain.

Went off to sembawang shopping centre and went up to astons to book for 15 seats. Waited for the rest before we were allowed into the restaurant. Ordering was quite chaotic, since it was such a big group of us. Before the food came, as usual, jokes and nonsenses will always be there whenever you people are present. Talking and chatting to catch on the progress of others, some are having attachments, some are having holidays and the rest like me, preparing for their tests and examinations. Seeing all of you still well and able, it is just so nice.

Wonderful dinner yesterday, and it would not be as hilarious and fun without the most funny people around. I believed most of the neighbouring tables felt that we are a nuisance for creating so much noise, while they are trying to have their peaceful dinner.

Will have to study for Chemistry and Physics, tests upcoming tomorrow. Have to do well, to pull up the overall marks.