The Loneliness Within Me

2010-02-16T23:33:00.001+08:00

Its pretty late to say this, but Happy Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day to all my friends out there.

This year's Chinese New Year seems so different, something seems to be missing. The experience hasn't been quite lively. Pretty much visiting less relatives and friends house this year. Is it because I'm losing contacts with my relatives and friends.

Went down to Angsiang's house for a short visit, compared to last year where we spent the whole day there playing 2 rounds of mahjong and gambling there as well. Pathetically, only an additional 3 people was there for dinner with me and Angsiang.

This could imply my close friends in the past, are no longer as close as what we used to be. Tough job to keep the friendships going. From the past of big groups going out, running around, being rowdy and being sarcastic of each other, to the current state of a few left around for even the usual meeting ups for dinner. Seeing only the few usual faces around seems rather pathetic from where we left off.

Hopefully, the upcoming chalet in March will allow the group of us to regain back our nonsense, fun, joy and laughter.

School's been really fine, except that I've not been doing my work consistently, slacking off. Promised to work hard after this long new year break. Start doing my work early, not going for naps until I've completed my assignments and finished revising. Looking through for any doubts and go for consultation real soon, or else it will be too late for any salvation.

On a last note, Junda lost money to me in mahjong!!! So long since he lost money.

2010-01-07T20:49:00.000+08:00

School's starting real soon, and really have to pick up the pace for doing homework. Going back to school as J2, not really prepared for it, mentally. Knowing that the upcoming year will be tough, with the important major examination coming up. Total different examination, will be competing with those top schools for good grades, unlike 'O' Levels.

Have to be more conscientious of my own studying method and not lazing around. Probably, this holiday will be the last to slack around. Shall work hard, listen to lectures and being more attentive in classes.

Change that mentality, so as to be better.

2010-01-01T20:49:00.000+08:00

Brand new year, 2010. New year, new resolutions for the year. Firstly, to be more disciplined in my studies, and focused as well. Secondly, work hard and play hard for this 'A' Level year. Thirdly, train myself for Nafpa. Lastly, get my driving license by this year.

Reflecting on the things that had passed for 2009. Last year, it went by pretty fast with so many things happening. Receiving the 'O' level results and orientation just felt like it was yesterday. Now, I have to start prepare myself for the 'A' levels. Time really go pass fast.

Definitely some pointers to learn from the previous year, and work on it. This is just how people grow and learn from it, to become a better person.

The best way to end 2009 and welcome 2010 would be to spend the hours with my brothers. Had a last sumptuous dinner with them at Sembawang Shopping centre at Astons, and heading to Chambers to play a round of L4D2 to kill off some time, before heading back to Woodlands. Bought the drinks and chips, then headed towards my house to start the celebration. Played around with mahjong, UNO attack, Taiti, monopoly, poker and 'Truth Only'. Monopoly ended up with me being one of those ending early.

Had fun, and what could have been the best way to end the year and welcome the new year, other than spending time with them. Thanks!

School will be starting soon, and all will be busy. Either with their projects or busy preparing for the 'A' levels. Another 10 more days for me to redeem myself for tons of homework that has been undone. Must make the most out of it. Also, yet to revise for the block test the week after going back to school. Dreadful.

Hopefully, will be able to fulfil my new year's resolution for 2010.

2009-12-12T02:27:00.001+08:00

Late night blogging.

Past two nights had been great with the guys. Mahjong on Thursday night, which ended late around 12 plus where we went to have supper at 888. Reminisce of the place where we used to gather after each session of mahjong. Apparently, long time since we had a round or two of mahjong. Really enjoyable, especially with Guanwei back for a short moment. Great time spent.

Dinner at Sembawang Shopping Centre, had a choice of either Astons or New York New York. Ended up with New York New York because Guanwei wanted to challenge for the Yankee Burger after starving for almost the whole day. However, starving the whole day doesn't seem to help in completing the challenge within one hour. Thought he had to pay for the burger, but in the end, his bill wasn't calculated in ours, and he went off thinking it was accounted for. He had the meal for free and without finishing it. How great!

Really couldn't ask for anything more than those people that I really loved spending time with.

Should really prepare myself for some studying mode soon, time is running out. Get serious, and do some work.

2009-12-09T21:55:00.000+08:00

Long time since I've last posted a post here. Been lazy and busy to blog. Pretty much has happened over the month that I was missing. Changed the blogskin as well, because the previous had something wrong with it.

Some good news. 0928 was promoted to J2 as a whole, and we will still be 25 in the class. Also, LTC was over and had great time over there, even though it was tiring, but yet, it was really enjoyable.

Past few days had been quite fun. Went for a game of basketball and swimming few days ago. Then only had a game at The Cage just yesterday, tiring but fun. Tried out the new pair of Predators. Didnt have much of a chance to try out. After that, went out to 313@somerset to 'explore', then walked down to Far East to look around and then down to Lan shop behind Plaza Singapura to play a round of L4D2 while waiting for dinner time. Went back to Plaza Singapura to have dinner at Manhattan Fish Market. Wanted to catch a movie back at Causeway Point, but unfortunately, cinema had closed.

Wasted another day at home playing psp, instead of doing holiday assignments and studying. Should really start doing soon, with still econs project to do.

Two weeks to Christmas Day and soon a new year. With the year ending soon so crazily fast, so much to expect next year.

2009-11-05T20:47:00.000+08:00

Oral presentation coming soon, which also implies the Project Work cycle is coming to an end together with it. Hoping that I can amend all those bad habits and improve on the fluency and pronunciation of words. After OP, it will be some fun time before getting back into lectures.

I'm tired with all these things happening. Needs a good rest after everything has ended. After the short rest, will have to endure a longer journey that lies ahead. Road after this can be much tougher and harder to walk on, but will have to endure and preserve walking on. You'll never walk alone.

Anyway, good luck to those guys out there taking the OP examination tomorrow and subsequent days ahead. Achieve the best results for PW, and the effort put into it will definitely reap good results. All the best of luck.

2009-10-25T20:49:00.003+08:00

Been busy with post promos, which is Project Work. Rushing out those drafts to make sure that things are not lost, and to make up for those drafts not done due to Promos. Did a few drafts before the final draft was given and the weekends to work on. After tomorrow, there will only be two more components of PW to go, Insights & Reflections and Oral Presentation. Have to work on the OP slides soon later on.

Schools been rather more tiring compared to when during Promos. At least, when during Promos, I just need to study the notes and do practices, whereas PW, I have to keep staring on the computer screen for hours and sitting in almost the same position for hours. This results in a stiff neck and lack in sleep.

Checked the scripts on Friday, and seeing the results that I had got back, seemingly failing Econs isn't too surprising, expected that marks that I received from Econs wouldn't be too great. However, passed the rest of the subjects, and the other H2 subjects are on the safe side. Promoting shouldn't be a problem for me, and wouldn't be bothered with it anymore. Just have to focus on Mother Tongue 'A' Levels and finishing the PW cycle for this year.

With those two mentioned, it should jolly-well wrap up the whole of this year for me. Probably with a chalet with those nonsensical people will be great, but I really doubt so with only 2 weeks break for the poly students. See how things go, and decide on a later date. Maybe just a barbeque will do the trick of gathering everyone to talk and chit-chat.

Will make use of the holiday to buck-up on the weaker subjects, but at the same time play hard.

My future seems quite settled. What about Liverpool's? Liverpool playing Manchester United at Anfield. With 4 games lost in this season, will Manchester add up to another in the lost bracket for Liverpool? Probably, without Xabi Alonso, Liverpool is obviously struggling especially with the incompetent Lucas Leiva replacing him. This might determine Benitez's position in Liverpool as a manager. One season ago, Liverpool played the best season for years, and now they are struggling with the squad.

2009-10-19T01:06:00.003+08:00

Days after Promos have been fun-filled so far. Other then outing with 0928, also, spent quality times with the company that makes me feel most comfortable. Missed a couple of dinner outing with them few weeks ago, this should make up for it.

Friday. Got a message from Angsiang to go over to his house to help clear off the excess food he bought for his Poly mates BBQ. Since, I finished school early that day, and had time on hand, so decided to go over. Went home to sleep for a few hours, and overslept again. Missed the timing, and arrange for a time to meet Kunyuan and Junda. Went to Cold Storage to buy something to go over, otherwise it would seem very awkward to go there empty-handed. Started with helping out to revive a dying fire made by Ivan, and failed. Then, started to BBQ some wings and otah, but due to the constraint on only one pit, decided to move over and revive that dying fire once again. Successful this time round, and started BBQ my otahs first, before going on to wings. Their sotongs were constantly uncooked, and they were very frustrated over that matter. Had a good night with all those funny jokes and sacrastism around. Ran towards the last bus, and went home from the bus terminal with Kunyuan.

Saturday. Met at 10 plus at Civic's NTUC to buy things needed for the picnic that day, with Zhenxiang and Angsiang. Bought a few bottles of drinks, a box of pringles and pear. Met the rest at MRT station. Saw a few familiar faces that hasn't been around for ages. As usual, when we always meet up, there will always be nonsense that will be around. The bus was rather noisy with us on-board. Changed bus before reaching our final destination, Singapore Botanic Garden. Had fun playing with frisbee brought by Zongxian. Initially, couldn't do that way of tossing of the frisbee that Zongxian was able to do. After a few hands, finally got the hang out of it. Played a few games with frisbee, touch rugby with frisbee and the monkey game.Where large group of people played in that monkey game, we had lots of fun with all those wrestling for that frisbee. Dirtied my white shorts, in the midst of the games. Bus to Clementi station and then trained back to Woodlands. Didn't join the rest for dinner, but instead, headed to the street soccer court with Kunyuan to play a game with his volleyball friends.

Soccer was great, maybe because it has been since a long time since I last played one game. Great workout for me, since Promos. Missing some touch on the shooting. Scraped some skin on the knees. Had dinner with them and went home. Tiring and muscles aching after that game, and soon felt asleep. Neglecting PW.

Anyway, I didn't scold you, Mr Teo Ang Siang. Don't say I scolded you over that bread.

Shall start on PW soon.

Wonder when will be the next time we will all meet again. With the Poly people starting their semester soon. Really enjoyed the time in the past two days. With the best company that I can ever wish for, times are cherished and enjoyed, at least on my part. There is nothing more that I can ever wish for, except for spending time with you people. Thank you to all. Really appreciated.

Maybe I am just lost. But this feeling is like no other. I am confused. Maybe you will shine a path to lead me through this lonely and complicated road.

2009-10-15T00:05:00.002+08:00

Great outing to Sentosa with 0928. Maybe the most successful outing that the class had, with more than half the people attended. With so much people, there could only be great fun, with so many things to do.

Supposed to meet at 1130am at Vivo, but was late because I overslept. Then after on, went to eat SuperDog with Bryan, Junyong and Carl. After that, went off to Hypermart to get things needed for the trip to Sentosa. Finally, went and took the tram to Sentosa, saw developments for the Integrated Resorts. Found a spot on the Siloso beach, beach wasn't crowded with many people, and had quite a large space to ourselves.

Played beach soccer for a short while, then played with burying Bryan. Whipped cream on his back and hair. Dug the sands with Nic Tan for a short while before getting into the waters. Swam with him to the bridge nearby. Went back to join the rest for water games and activities. Had much fun and laughter.

Played, sat and swam around on the beach and waters, which I believe everyone had quite a lot of fun. We felt somehow boring with nothing left to do and went off to bath first. Waited for the rest to finish bathing and after that went back to Vivo city to have our dinner.

Different opinions on what to eat, and decided to go separately first to buy dinner from what we want to eat, and gathered at the atrium outside the food republic to gather and eat together. Had difficulty finishing the food, because before having that dinner, I just gulped down two big bottles of mineral water. Had a short stroll along the seaside view to aid digestion after the meal.

Went off to Golden Village to look for what movies available for us to catch. Left with 8 other guys to watch the movie, and we caught Surrogates. Quite an interesting movie but confusing at the beginning because I couldn't understand the story plot and what was a surrogate. Subsequently, finally understood the story plot and found the movie very interesting and fun at certain parts.

After all, the outing was great, with most of the people that attended the outing, and had enjoyed the day really much. Perhaps, everybody played hard today because it was after the Promos. Really, enjoyed the day, and is really tired. Thanks to Bryan for the ride home, otherwise, I would have to suffer from the long trip home from taking the train.

Maybe, there is really no way out, or it could just never happen.

2009-10-13T21:05:00.003+08:00

Finally, the promos are over at last. Told myself, I have tried my best, did my best and studied the hardest in times when the need arises. Hopefully, the results that comes out wouldn't be too disappointing. Since I've studied hard, guess it's time to play hard. Next two days, no papers which would mean that will be no school.

After the paper, celebration time. Had a hard time deciding which buffet to eat, with Carl done with his research on buffets. Finally, decided to go for Vienas. Never had been there, but the environment, variety of food, services are quite worth the amount paid for it. Had quite a fulfilling lunch buffet. Which after heading on to Toys"R"us, to recap on some childhood memories where we spent sometime in there. Walking around to aid digestion, in hope to find my hand-phone pouch as well. After that, separate ways to go home, and I went to get some new shorts and shirt, to build up on the wardrobe. Found an excuse to use the bicycle to send the books to Zhen Xiang.

Tomorrow will be an class outing to sentosa. Hopefully, this time round will be a more successful one with more participants in it.

Life after promos will not be much easier, intensive PW. Deadlines are all coming up. Nevertheless, on a brighter note, PW cycle ending soon with just I&R and oral presentation. Just really hope that at the end of it, hard work pays off with a desired result.

Been amazed by all time flies this year. Just recalling what wearing the old school uniform, entering Riverside for the final time to receive the 'O' Level results, to now where I am, and what I have done. In just a short period of 10 months, so much has happened and time has passed so fast. Some might have been gone, some might have been gained. It all depends on what has ultimate gain or lost at the end of the day.

8 months into JC life, and had done so many things. Amazingly, everything happened so quickly, such that orientations, Mid-Year and Promos have already passed.

Wonder what the future holds for me. I am really unsure, nor can I predict. But at the very least, I tried my very best to do so.

There is something within me that has never changed.

2009-10-11T23:11:00.002+08:00

Totally amazed by how much one can change in such a short period of time. No doubt, environment and people around us shape what is us and our character. Perhaps it's the person you are with now, that has caused one to changed so much. After all, it's your own choice, your path of road.

Maybe someday, you will find your way back.

Promos ending soon, with two H2 papers left. Economics case study tomorrow in the afternoon and in the following morning, Physics paper one and two.

To sum up overall for the papers so far, it's been rather scary and worrying for me.

General Paper. Paper one might not be done as well as up to expected. Might have lack the substance to improve on the argument. Paper two was rather screwed up with restlessness kicking in, and failing to comprehend certain part of the passage. The application question was one of the main problem of the paper, which I had no idea about how to tackle that question.

Economics. Just afraid that the economics essay might not be up to standard as I wasn't able to think through properly and with poor time management, this might be the road to failing of my Economics paper.

Chemistry. Paper gone and done with long ago. Paper could have been done better with, if only I had sufficient time to study on, which I didn't and thought I was able to complete studying within that break period.

Physics, I ain't too confident with doing well either, with all those careless mistakes I had made in that paper 3, and leaving blanks around. Hopefully, Physics paper on Tuesday might be my hope for promoting. Fingers crossed.

Mathematics. Overall, the paper isn't considered very hard, quite confident that I will be able to pass this paper. Just a matter of whether is it an 'A', which I always have high hopes pinned on Maths.

Last two days to go, hopefully I can be able to promote to J2 next year.

2009-09-25T05:06:00.003+08:00

Time waits for no one, no matter who you are. Time flies for the past 7 months I have been in JC. It's already 7 months, and without the best companions around. Fate seems undecided, whether what will I be doing this period of time next year, whether still preparing for Promos or preparation for the 'A' Levels. Trying my very best to prepare myself for the Promos, but still time is short. Will set a good and realistic target for myself for the Promos.

A fine line between arrogance and self-confidence. Believing arrogance is no going to bring you anywhere.

2009-09-22T21:53:00.002+08:00

What is gone, is gone. Never going to be able to revive the past.

Pointless to hold back things that are not meant to be. Meaningless.

Fatigue has took a toll on the body. Falling apart.

2009-09-20T23:37:00.003+08:00

Been lacking the self-discipline to study at home. Just cannot put myself to work and study.

Fearful feelings surrounding me, with knowing the consequence of not preparing enough for examination at this point of time. Unlike in the past, where I can just study at the very last minute, and still manage to scrap through. This is not going to work at this level, where the weakest are being eliminated and tolerates no any other excuses for not doing so.

Recently, not being the usual me. Don't really feel like talking much to anyone, just facing the walls around me. Maybe, I am used to the loneliness. Perhaps, I just enjoy the silence from the environment. Possibly due to my laziness to even talk. Just don't really understand what is going on within me actually.

Could have lost the purpose of interactions with people, or just cannot find anything to talk about. I am just a bored person. Boring.

Might have lost myself.

2009-09-14T01:16:00.003+08:00

School starting in just a few hours, and I am left with tons of work to be finished.

Chances are hard to come by. If only I had cherished those chances and not run away from everything. Always giving reason for every actions done, avoiding it by all means. After given the chances and avoided the opportunity, then regretting about what I have done.

Only best at thinking about the endless possibilities, but yet not putting it down into good use. Ending up only as a bubble of hope. Been trying to protect this little bubble of hope and thinking that it will not burst. After all, it is a bubble and will burst eventually, in just a matter of time. Perhaps I should stop making this bubble to grow bigger, and maybe burst it myself one day when I find the courage to do so.

If I still live in this bubble of hope, I will only live in this virtual world and things will never happen if there are no actions done.

Wake me up from this pool of hope I have lying in for so long.

2009-09-13T02:16:00.002+08:00

One week holiday will be ending very soon, with only a day left. Haven't done anything productive for the whole of the holiday, supposed to be studying but instead doing nothing except watching television, playing PSP and playing facebook games.

In just about two more weeks, comes the promotional examination. Shall study in school for the next two weeks in school, to increase my productive capacity, by improving the quality of my study-force, as well as, increasing the quantity of study hours. Hope that will be able to help in the end.

Why do I just lack the courage to just face reality?
Why do I always avoid the truth?
Why can't I just face up to the harsh reality that things are the way it is?
Maybe I just a tortoise that hides my head whenever I have to face the truth, and just lacking the courage to face it. Perhaps, I'm just a coward in your sense.

What an utter failure I am.

2009-09-06T01:15:00.002+08:00

The whole week was painful, after injuring my back falling from the see-saw. Until this moment, it still hurts very much and cannot really move much. This is giving me so much problem and discomfort whenever I sit down for long hours, and during lecture. I cannot even bend down to pick up stuffs that is dropped onto the floor, but instead have to kneel down to get my stuffs. Taking panadol extra to reduce the pain, although it works, but then that is not solution to cure this problem and also possess danger to the body. Might consult on doctor if the pain is really too unbearable or maybe one day when I cannot even step out of the bed. But for during this critical period, it is not the time to be down, will have to be strong and endure these last few months.

Did a practice paper on Friday and that gave me much reflection and new perspective on how I should face life.

The passage was quite inspirational, with it talking about two different people went to the hospital to do a check-up on their nose, as they were afraid it might be nose cancer and so they decided if they really had been diagnosed with nose cancer, they will list out a list of things to be done and their wishes. Person A was diagnosed with nose cancer, whereas the other is fine with some minor aliment. So Person A left a note with his list of things, so as to live his life to the fullest before he dies, whereas Person B was so happy that he is fine and forgotten about the his list of things and proceed with life as usual.

During this period while Person A was still alive, he managed to fulfill many of his dreams and things he really wanted to do, and completed almost 27 items on his wish list. Whereas Person B continues with his monotonous life. Person B came across an article published by Person A on the newspaper, and called upon Person A to ask about his conditions and how has him been. Person A said: " I've been doing fine, and especially after completed the things on my wish list. How have you been then? Should be doing fine, after knowing you are fine." Person B was speechless.

Reading this passage really brought about many thoughts in my mind and reflection upon my own life so far. I realised that I do not really know what I really want, and spent the last 16 years into education. Am I doing studying in JC for what I really want or is it due to the society that forced me into this circumstances? Some things are not really within the control of everyone, however, there are also other things that you can control. For instance, one can really forgo everything and fulfill his dreams, whereas some chooses to follow what the society wants and forgo his dreams. It's a choice between what we really want and what we have to accept. Perhaps that's life. Since I am already in this situation, and do not really have much choice, but to really accept and work towards the ultimate goal at the end.

Life is short, and nobody can predict what the future holds. Accidents may cause you to regret for the rest of your life, or some don't even have the chance to regret. So, if there things you really wish to do or fulfill, don't hold back and go ahead. Don't allow yourself to regret at the end, without achieving your dreams and wishes.

Why do I lack the courage to talk to you? Why do I stumble upon my on words when I try to talk to you? Am I proving to be a weakling? Probably, perhaps and maybe. This might just be the greatest regret I will ever have.

2009-09-02T23:11:00.002+08:00

New phone, new month, new perspective and new me.

Definitely has to change things the way it is, shouldn't let this current on further. Should be revising for promos, but yet, I am still having my nap and playing my psp till its flat. This isn't conducive at all, and has to find a solution to it very very soon, otherwise, the grades when I get back at the end of the year, will be cause a huge upset on me.

I should just do things it was just like last year. Last year this time, was spending time at RP doing practice papers and TYS, and surely hardwork has paid off with the results that I got back. This might just inspire and motivate to start studying, although 29 days left. Not much time left, but will have to make do with what I am left with.

Stop procrastinating and start on the main objective for the year and purpose of entering into a JC.

2009-09-01T15:51:00.003+08:00

Teacher's Day celebration at NY was considered a total failure. ACES day dance, as usual, I don't participate since in secondary school. When to slack around at MacDonald nearby and waited for time to pass. When back to NY to play some tennis, and after that went to collect the Written Report for PW.

After that, came back to Woodlands, intended to go back to Riverside to visit the teachers. Waited for the Zhenkai and Guanwei to go back. We were not allowed back in, as the stipulated time for school hours are over, and cannot go in and visit the teachers. Rather disappointing though, but after that went to collect basketball from Reynard's house and played basketball for awhile till it started to rain.

Went off to sembawang shopping centre and went up to astons to book for 15 seats. Waited for the rest before we were allowed into the restaurant. Ordering was quite chaotic, since it was such a big group of us. Before the food came, as usual, jokes and nonsenses will always be there whenever you people are present. Talking and chatting to catch on the progress of others, some are having attachments, some are having holidays and the rest like me, preparing for their tests and examinations. Seeing all of you still well and able, it is just so nice.

Wonderful dinner yesterday, and it would not be as hilarious and fun without the most funny people around. I believed most of the neighbouring tables felt that we are a nuisance for creating so much noise, while they are trying to have their peaceful dinner.

Will have to study for Chemistry and Physics, tests upcoming tomorrow. Have to do well, to pull up the overall marks.

2009-08-29T21:16:00.002+08:00

Maybe that is the way life should be.

Somethings that are lost, can never be retrieved back. Those happy memories will always be kept within me, whether or not, if you all remembered.

Should stop all these pessimistic point of view in life for me, start looking positive and learn to be truly happy.

But how do I change this perspective of mine? This will allow me to ponder over the night when sleeping and over this short weekends.

2009-08-28T18:39:00.005+08:00

Long time since I last posted. Been busy with school work and sleeping. Many things have passed during this one or two months or so.

Two birthday boys, or should I say gentlemen. One was GuanWei's birthday celebration at kuishiboh, and the other AngSiang's last minute planned birthday celebration. Very sorry for being unable to dine in with you all for AngSiang's birthday, because being tied down with work and commitments in school.

Promos examination coming round the corner and haven't started revising for any chapters, much less a subject. Been trying to be more attentive in class, positive attitude towards tutorials and lectures. Hopefully, I will not regret at the end of the year, so will have to start doing my work more conscientiously and start revising very soon once there is time.

Feelings have been up and down. Been very down for the past days and don't feel like speaking. No matter what I say, is being ignored, so might as well save the talking and focus in class. Slowly drifting apart in class, feeling the unhappiness when being made fun of ridiculous and unnecessary comments. It's saddening to feel this way, ain't friends supposed to support you when you are down, instead of further stepping down on you and making fun of you? People come to me when help is necessary, and left me one side once things are completed. This isn't the way I want life to be. Perhaps, just reverting to my old self, just being quiet. That might be the best way out for this situation and environment I am in.

This really made me feel upset and unhappy about. I apologize to people that I might have shown attitude towards on during MSN conversations, especially AngSiang and people.

Nonetheless, a coin has two side, so does life. There is the negative side, and will also be the positive side. It's all these negative sides that makes the nice things in life to be more appreciated and dearer. Being able to see you smile and walk past me, almost daily makes my day and forget all the unhappiness in the day, giving me the motive for going to school daily.

Should be really glad that at least there is still a bunch of what I can really call true friends behind me, that I can always talk to no matter what problems I have. They really make me feel that I am not left alone, walking this lonely journey alone. Thank you to all.

Somethings should be treasured while they can, especially friends. It takes some destiny for us to meet and become friends. In the past, used to feel that my bunch of friends are always nonsensical and always pestering to allow them to come to my house to play mahjong. Come to think of it, it was all those fun and laughter we shared that made us closer and have more common topic to make jokes out of it. Now, I feel so lonely and neglected without them, especially KunYuan's 'non-Sense', 'use-Less' and 'Bae-stard' and Junda's obsession with gambling and girls in the past. If only time could turn back, where we have fun regardless of tests or examinations. Now, we are all separated into different paths and becoming more difficult to meet up.

Sorry, if this post is too much of a ranting and sorts. Just trying express the inner thoughts that can no longer be kept.

Next time, I post might be after my Promos examinations. Anywa, HorFun is very nice.

2009-07-04T03:23:00.002+08:00

Finally, the mid-year's are over. But I am kind of regretting at the moment for not fully using my holidays to do my work, study and play at the same time, since most of the time spent is slacking. Although, I kept telling myself I will study the next day since there is plenty of time available on the holiday. However, time flies when one is having fun, and the last week of holiday was for me to go down to rp daily to do some serious work and some studying. Helped in a way or another, otherwise I would have more nights that I will be left studying until the examination timing and then popping cans of redbull to keep me away. This totally sucks and is bad for health.

I swear this was a wake-up call and I promise that I will listen more diligently in lectures and not talk unless necessary. Will do up on tutorials in a serious manner and will try to revise on the topics taught in that day. For promos at the end of the year, I will make sure I am going to be prepared and not worked through the night.

On a side note, spent some time enjoying myself with classmates to play. That was fun, and really enjoyed myself after the stressful examination. Hopefully, the next time we go there will be after the promos and will be then where we will be really happy about the exam and really enjoy ourselves. Let's work hard together people, we will promote all as one.

Forgetful moment: On the chemistry paper today, when the examiner said pens down, I put down my pen and flipped through the papers. To my horror, I saw the OTAS paper blank, and totally forgotten about it. I started to panic about it, and acted as if I was checking my OTAS sheet, but in actual trying to shade the 10 questions. When the examiner walked past, I was very afraid that I might be scolded and have my script given a zero. Lesson learnt today, for not allowing the OTAS to ever be left blank, and should shade it straight after finishing it.

That's all for a short update.

2009-06-19T00:46:00.003+08:00

Fantastic day on Thursday, where most of the 4/7 people turned up for the BBQ yesterday. Met up at the MRT control station at 2.30pm. Alex kept mentioning about his course, trying to make Junda guilty about switching of courses. Indecisive about whether to collect the food, but in the end going to the East Coast Park straight, taking the 966 long distance bus. Walking there and getting ourselves our own drinks for the night.

As usual, I was called on duty to set-up the fire, but the fire started too early when the food have not arrived yet. While setting up the fire, AngSiang burned a hole in his class-tee due to overlooking of the existing burning charcoal beneath his shirt, resulting in the joke topic of the day. Started cooking with what is available on the table, which is the bread until the food finally arrived. Started with some simple cooking of satay, chicken wings and sausages, and orders from people to cook this and that until I was really hungry and cooked my 4 chicken wings and sat aside sharing with ZhenKai. Then spending time sitting down with most of the guys, and chatting our way about the life currently.

After the food, we had a short game to play. It was quite fun, and I had a forfeit to do after round 1, with Cedric accompanying me. Indecisive yet again whether to stay at East Coast to stay over or procced back to Woodlands to stay overnight. After some time wasted, we moved on to the bus-stop to see if we could catch the last bus back to Woodlands, however it was a fruitless try where the last bus left when we arrived at the bus-stop and with hopes still in mind that there will still be bus going back. In the end, KunYuan, ZongXian, ZhenKai, WangYi and Ernest cabbed back home, and the rest of us made our way back to the MacDonalds at East Coast Park.

Spent around an hour or so there to talk and having some thing to fill the hungry stomach. Then we left to proceed to the beach to enjoy some sea breeze, but after a while I headed back to MacDonalds together with JunDa and AngSiang. Intially, wanted to get a pack of cards from 7-11 to kill some time, but they could not find it eventually. Then sat down at MacDonalds talking about who was present at the BBQ, and headcounting people. Recap about the things that happened in Seconday 3 and the talking went broader. Unbearable boredom drived us to visit 7-11 once again in search for the deck of cards, and I found that deck of card hidden behind the counter, and bought a deck and headed back to play some usual card games. Played a few hands of TaiTi, until the rest returned from the beach.

They bought breakfast and the few of us kept making fun of GuanWei and his hotcakes. Funny comments made by us on his unique way of eating the hotcakes, sausage and hashbrown. Then JunDa started to bet poker with AngSiang on hotcakes and they went to 1000 hotcakes, this really made me laugh till my tears came out and I am still suffering from the adominal cramps from all those laughing currently. After the breakfast, we had a card game introduced by GuanWei called 'Snap Jack'. Lost the first round, due to unfair treatment from the female side. Subsequently, GeokTing won the next 2 rounds despite being the slowest, and I also didn't lose any rounds from then on.

Finally, making the last journey back to the bus-stop and waitied for the 966 bus to arrive. Boarded the bus, and everyone was tired and took a nap on the bus. Slept through reaching the Woodlands. Dismissed from there and proceed home to bath and preparing to go back to school for Project Work.

Took the train back to school and while standing, I slept for a few short minutes. Reaching school earliest and waiting for others to arrive and started on the agenda of the day. When taking the train back, I slept again throughout the train journey. Reached home, had a quick bath and allow myself to regain some lost sleeping hours.

At the end, I had so much fun spending with all the 4/7 people that turned up for this BBQ and I am very grateful to Hazirah for organising and booking of the bbq pits. Really missed the times where we were as a class. To those that helped out in the food, without you, there would not have been food for the people.In future, we should have more of the class outings to catch on each other. Lastly, the most important group of people are those that turned up, and it would not have been successful without all of you.

有时真觉得自己很没用，连说话也不敢
只能怪自己无能为力

2009-05-23T19:09:00.002+08:00

Its been 1 month since I last blog, probably just one post to sum up what has happened overall in the past month. Past month has been busy with schoolwork and CCA.

School has been still alright for me so far, just got back my H2 Maths result, and I've got a 22.5/30 for this lecture test. Quite an improvement from the previous test which I got 11.5/30. So hopefully the upcoming Mid-Year in term 3 will be even better to help pull up my overall grades. H1 Chemistry still remains the same at 15/30, which is the same for the both lecture tests.

CCA was quite hectic I would say, because of the SIG week where we need to organize and plan events throughout the whole week. Still I have an event upcoming on Tuesday.

Project Work has been quite frustrating and troubling, because of the GPP that has been constantly rejected and still has many problems in between here and there, and have yet to be approved. So hopefully the GPP will be approved soon.

Anyway, Mother Tongue 'A' Levels coming up soon in July. Hope to pass and ace it, and get over with it. So that next year I do not have to retake Mother Tongue, and face that stupid Chinese teacher.

Time flies so soon, it is already coming towards the end of May, where Mid-Years are coming soon. 3 Months ago, where we were strangers and not knowing each other in a new environment to now where we are treasuring the company of each other, having fun together. Very soon, where we will taking Promos very soon, hopefully all the 25 of us will be able to promote as one class and take the 'A' Levels together next year.

That will be all, and will blog soon whenever there is time. Cheers to all ^.^

有些是一旦失去了，就可能再也找不回来了。
所以有些事，一定要珍惜才不会后悔莫及。

2009-04-22T22:19:00.003+08:00

Its been so long since i last post. Been busy with school work and especially Project Work, trying to do up the drafts for PI, changed from Conservation to Emergency. Rushed out the draft for Emergency.

Schooling has been fun though, especially with my bunch of funny and nonsensical friends. Hoping to become the president of the CCA, and fingers crossed. Have to do up proposal on upcoming event, on how to promote the CCA.

Training for Napfa, do weights and running. Training up on the weak segments of the Napfa, hopefully can at least do one pull-up by the end of the year.

Anyway, today is kunyuan's birthday:

HAPPY 17th Birthday! Stay as 'non-SENSE' as usual.

2009-03-29T03:36:00.003+08:00

Hi all! Back to blogging once again, since i left it there for such a long time. So I should blog a few things that happened recently.

Nothing much happened recently actually. I just feel so left out or rather leaving others out. Gatherings for dinner only able to attend twice so far on Fridays, mostly due to cca in school and other stuffs that requires my attention, hence unable to present myself on Friday for those who missed 'suan-ing' me to the max.

Plans to watch movie with friends on Friday midnight seems to be a constant failure, perhaps due to commitments to cca by friends.

Life in Nanyang seems so different in riverside. The difference is so different.

Currently, my life has been quite monotonous, going to school via taking train and bus. Attending lectures and tutorial which starts from morning till afternoon. Sometimes after PE, playing soccer would be a good option to lose those excess fats and getting myself to run. Then heading home to rest and do homework.

However, previously in riverside, waking up late in the morning still allows me to have time to make it in time for school. Lessons stretching from morning till late afternoon, remembering the days where we would have Focus Study, meant to prepare us for the 'O' Levels. Intially, I was not quite used to the long timing in school with only two 30 minutes break in between. After those lessons, options are either to go play basketball or to go causeway point to relax and chill out or go somebody's house to play mahjong. Life seems so relaxed and fun at that moment of time, where we would constantly joke and play around.

Tutorial and assignments are a must-do when in JC, if you never hand-up assignments, it would be deem as your responsibility. However previously in secondary school, I could just smoke my way through even though I never do any of the homework, and teachers would just chase after us for homework. Perhaps, people grow learning how to be responsible.

Nafpa coming up soon on 16 May, hopefully can still pass my 2.4km run. With the trial run on Friday's PE, my timing was 14:12 which is 2 seconds away from a E grade of 14:10. I know I still don't meet the minimum requirement for N.S. which would be at least a silver. I hope through those physical conditioning during PE can help me pull through those difficult times.

Maybe I should just end here. Will update whenever i can.

I am starting to miss those nonsense moments we used to have. I would do anything to exchange for those memories.

2009-03-07T00:29:00.003+08:00

Pretty long since i blogged about my progress. Recently, quite a huge pile of work on my shoulder. I need to do my Minor Research Paper(MRP) for GP, Preliminary Idea(PI) for the 2007 PW task on Groundbreaker. Busy busy busy.

A group of SM2 scholars from china, came to the school on Monday, and I am involved in being one of their buddy. So have to sort of entertain them. Will be with them until the end of next week.

Although work might be tough and difficult, but with the support and help from classmates, I really hope I can promote to J2 next year. Was talking to my friend just now about the class, when we mentioned that it will be wonderful if the class of 25, would be able to all make it to J2 next year. Saw my class-tee today, luminous orange. Cool right?

Many activities planned during the March holidays, courses to attend. Tired of writing essays this week, maybe shall end here. There is cross-country tomorrow. So shall rest early.

PS: sorry for not being able to attend the gathering.

2009-02-22T16:36:00.002+08:00

A week of proper lectures and tutorials has begun. Quite interesting I should say, anticipating for Project Work. At the same time, I am also quite worried for my Physics, for fear that I might not be able to promote to J2 next year. I am so scared.

Mixed around with the class quite well, I should say. But because of the rowdiness from the class, we were complained by teachers. Perhaps due to the fact that are more males than females in the class.

P.E. in JC is totally torturous and unlike in the past, where we could slack around. Just realized that in order to prevent going earlier into N.S, the minimum requirement would be a NAPFA Silver. So, I must make use of the track in the school, no more excuses for me not to run anymore.

Went down to queensway shopping centre yesterday to find out about prices and choosing designs and colours for the class-tee.

Now, I am pondering over the question ' What is the most significant event in 2008?' Anyone with an idea, feel free to tag on the tagboard or PM on msn. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

Hope to see you guys soon.

2009-02-13T17:32:00.002+08:00

I am done with my orientations. My new class is 0928 and so my orientation was definitely with my class. Short description of my class, a class with 16 males and 9 females. Going through the events of the orientation.

Day1
Reached NYJC at around 0815 and went to gather in my group. This year's orientation theme was Madagascar. There were 4 tribes, Alex, Melman, Gloria and Marty. My tribe was Marty and my group was Marty 7. There was a grand entrance from all the OGLs from different tribes, and Marty had the longest entrance. Played team-building games and learnt new cheers for the tribe. First cheer that we were taught: " Black Stripes(hands raised in the right direction), White Stripes(hands raised in the left direction), Black Stripes(hands raised in the right direction), White Stripes(hands raised in the left direction), OHH~~(Hands raised up). Learnt the steps for Mass Dance. The Mass Dance was a song from High School Musical 3 'A night to remember'. That was the end of day 1, and Marty was at the 4th position on day1.

Day2
Report to school only at 1030 am. Why? Because the new NYJCian are going to SENTOSA !!! Took attendance in the morning and OGs were released one by one to go to sentosa. Marty was the last tribe to leave school. My class ordered pizza for lunch. After lunch, it was around 2 and we went to different places along the Palawan Beach for team-building games. Although, my class lost most of the games, but we would score high on cheering. A few games before we gathered back at the same place. We played games among our own class. Then we were released very soon. Trained from Habourfront, Dhoby Ghaut, then to Marina Bay then only back to Woodlands. That was the end of day2.

Day3
Feeling the fatigue in me already in day3. Gathered in school, and had mass dance after the assembly. Learnt the dance steps for 'A night to remember' and was taught the NYJC traditional dance. Both dances were couple dances. We had Telematch after Mass Dance, and Marty lost the telematch. Why? Because Gloria played cheat :( Lunch after that, and following that was CCA bazaar. Until now, i still don't know what cca to join. After CCA bazaar, we were dismissed. Marty was already in 2nd place.

Day4 (Last day of orientaion)
In the morning, we were told MARTY was in FIRST place!!! YEAH !!! Because we were successful in the 'Random Give Away' game, which all the OGs in Marty completed and scored many points for the tribe, hence we were leading. Tribal time after assembly, and we were taught new cheers and there was a very long cheer combining 6 cheers. Credits to the OGLs for the cheers. Had Mass Dance again, and all of us were very high. We finished 'A night to remember' and NYJC traditional dance. We were also taught, Hot'n Cold. The dance was easy and very soon we were able to get the dance steps. After Mass Dance was lunch, and we had wet games after lunch. Wet games are really WET !!! Played a few wet games, and went to wash up. Went to the toilets above to wash-up and we sat around at the parade square for another tribal time. We ate our dinner and played games while waiting for the hall to be ready. We went up to the hall when ready, and we had a cheering competition. Each tribe would stand up and cheer. After that, was a dance competition named ' Tarzan and Jane'. Each tribe would send a couple up for competition. Marty had our last hope in the finals as our 'Jane' did not get eliminated. After the 'Tarzan and Jane', we had our 'Disco Night'. Moving around in trains and forming a circle with the class. We were absolutly very high and my class had someone that knew how to break-dance. Cool eh? Jumped around and moving along with the beat of the music. Before the end of the disco night, we had the Mass Dance and NYJC traditional dance to wrap things up. Also, Marty won the best tribe award, the biggest award in the orientation. We were the first in the leaderboard by the end of the day. Went down to canteen to wait for the OGLs, before we took a group photo. Went to the coffeeshop behind to have a drink and talk. At 1130 am, we left cause we had to catch the last train. But there was no bus in sight by 1150am. So 3 of us staying at woodlands decided to share a cab. Reached home only at 12 plus, sleeping only at 1.

Today, woke up at 545 am. Yes, I slept for only 4 hours plus. Had to go to school today for talks from external speakers. Attended 4 talks today, very exhauting for someone that only slept 4 hours or so. Went out to packed food back to canteen to eat as canteen stalls are not open. Attended a talk about the basic operations of the Graphic Calculator. That stupid gadget costed me $155.

Thats all for the week. Tutorial worksheets awaiting for me to go do them up. Actual lectures starting next week.

2009-02-05T23:33:00.004+08:00

Next week would be my orientation, whereas this week are the lectures. Attended GP and H2 chemistry today. Tomorrow would be a long stretch of lectures in the Lecture Theatre 4, with H2 Mathematics to start things off, followed by H2 Physics and H2 Economics. After that, I would have a 30 minutes of break and followed by H1 Chinese Language. 30 minutes of break after that, and GP would be the last to wrap things up for this week of academic orientation.

Orientation next week with my class. Tuesday would be going out to sentosa to have fun and Thursday would be a 'disco night'. I got my ideal subject combination of H2 Physics, H2 Mathematics, H2 Economics and H1 Chemistry.

With this week coming to an end and next week in anticipation, the weekends would be packed with gatherings with friends. Hoping to go down to Queensway shopping centre to get a pair of track shoes and also wanting to get a new bag, because someone in NYJC is using the same bag as me ( for those who went down with me to buy that Zinc bag would understand).

Anyway, see you guys in the upcoming gatherings.

2009-02-03T21:40:00.002+08:00

Second day into Nanyang Junior College, had lectures today. I went for H2 chemistry, H1 Chinese Language and H1 Economics. Fell asleep during the 1-hour H1 Chinese Language lesson when we go through composition writings.

Got my NYJC PE shirts and pants after the lectures. It cost $40 plus for 2 sets, most likely getting my uniform tomorrow. Wondering what CCA to take up in NYJC, maybe going into Kaykak Racing, hoping to complete my 3-stars in kayaking.

New friends made in the new environment. I am loving NYJC much more as the days goes by.

A joke from a senoir on the first day of school. So here it goes.

A chicken went to a resturant and wanted to order a
plate of beef steak. However, when the order came,
a pork chop came. Why ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Answer: Because the chicken can only go ' pok pok pok'

Laugh my dear friends, forget all the tiredness and unhappiness for the day.

2009-02-01T21:21:00.002+08:00

Going into a new environment tomorrow, hoping that I would like the school. Only a few people I know will be joining me in Nanyang Junior College.

Talking throughout the night with the guys. Remembering when we first joined secondary school, we wanted so much to return to primary school. Now, when we are going different paths in our life, I miss so much about the things that happened within the school, the class and the friends.

In a new environment, new friends will be made and old friends never to be forgotten. I will miss all the nonsense that we had and been through. This wonderful piece of memory will always be kept in me and never to be lost.

To the person that has only treated us as only acquaintance all the while, hope you can manage to survive junior college life.

I am missing my hair right at this very very moment.

2009-01-21T19:38:00.003+08:00

So much have changed over the years, people grow and changed as time goes by. Who knows that we might find this very familiar face, a total stranger down the years in our life.

Chinese New Year coming soon in just another 5 days. Having the thoughts of going to relative houses, visiting them, some only seen when CNY arrives. CNY would be a good occasion to visit some relatives since I have been isolating myself from any family gatherings recently.

Collecting red packets, counting the money at the end of the month. This year's red packet money would most probably shrink due to the recent recession.

Welcoming the year of cow, hoping that everybody would have a better year ahead of them. Although, it is the end of the secondary education for us, you all can forget what is being taught in school, but we should not forget all the nonsense that we all had together.

跟大家讲个笑话吧。
问题：为什么糖是姆的呢？
答案：应为糖会生蚂蚁。

Tired ...

2009-01-18T00:09:00.004+08:00

Another cycling day out. Junda came in the morning to get the bicycle from my house and we went off. Cycled our way to Yishun JC, then head for breakfast at the coffeeshop behind Northpoint. Then slowly back to Woodlands, rested at Junda's void deck before going to Sheng Siong to check out certain things for their eyes. Went back to KunYuan's condo to rest and sit around. Cycled for around 4hours plus excluding those slacking hours.

So here's my 12 choices for the JAE:
1)Anderson Junior College (Science)
2)NanYang Junior College (Science)
3) Innova Junior College (Science)
4)Yishun Junior College (Science)
5)Banking & Fianaces Services (Ngee Ann Poly)
6)Business Studies （Ngee Ann Poly)
7)International Business (Ngee Ann Poly)
8)Banking & Fianaces Services (Singapore Poly)
9）St Andrews Junior College (Science)
10)Catholic Junior College (Science)
11)Meridian Junior College (Science)
12)Pioneer Junior College (Science)

Kind of regretting putting Nanyang JC above Innova and Yishun JCs, cause very lonely there :(
Not making any senses from the 9th choice onwards.

GCE ‘O' Levels Result

2009-01-13T20:59:00.003+08:00

How should I start ?

Went back to school yesterday to collect the results after having lunch with a large group of people. Arriving school early and am afraid getting caught for the length of the hair.

Going back to a very familiar school hall to attend the announcement of results. Going through PowerPoint slides with 9 distinctions, 8 distinctions, 7 distinctions, 6 distinctions and 5 distinctions.

Esther got 7 distinctions; Zongxian, Irfan and Fanny had got 6 distinctions; Guanwei, AngSiang and Ivan and I had got 5 distinctions. Was rather shocked to see my name up on the 5 distinctions as I only expected 4 distinctions. Combined Humanities was the surprising last distinction I got.

When receiving the result slip, was only disappointed when I saw Amaths only an A2.

Went down to Innova JC with reynard trying to appeal into that school.

Went back for quick shower before meeting Kunyuan, Reynard and Ivan to go down to Suntec City. Went to Kuishinbo to celebrate JunDa's birthday.

Went to coffeeshop to sit around and talk crap. Reached home only around 3 am.

2009-01-11T23:36:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow will be the verdict of the hard work put in for the 'O' Level Examinations. No regrets for whatever the outcome will be.

Now the struggle would be where I would go to continue my education path, either a banking and finance service course in Ngee Ann Polytechnic or a combination of H2 Mathematics, H2 Economics, H2 Physics and H1 Chemistry in Innova Junior College.

A very certain path to go in either institutes.

Finally, my hair is back to black and most probably would not want to dye my hair anymore in the near future.

Good Luck guys for the results tomorrow and hope all of you will get your desire results.

2009-01-08T22:45:00.002+08:00

First day for Polytechnic's open house and a trip down to Ngee Ann Poly to find out more about their courses and campus life there.

Supposed to meet Ivan at 10, but he woke up late and came only at 1030. Junda and Kunyuan failed to turn up. Ivan called for Jason to come and we left Woodlands for Clementi at 11. In the end, reaching Ngee Ann Poly only around 1145.

Stepping into a big and wierd environment, the three of us wondered around aimlessly. Intially, we wanted to take the shuttle bus to tour around the campus, however one of the ambassodor said that the bus are meant for visitors and we are hence disallowed from boarding.

Walking around the campus to collect freebies and taking shuttle bus from other stations.

Too stubborn to acknowledge the fact ?

2009-01-01T18:09:00.003+08:00

First post of the new year. Firstly, thank you to all the guys that spent the last few hours of 2008 and first few hours of 2009.

Fun and joy fills the room's atmosphere. Hope all of you will enjoy the new year with your family and friends.

Small mahjong session at my house to say goodbye to 2008 and welcome 2009. Monopoly was followed after two rounds of mahjong. Junda dominated both mahjong and monopoly.

Anyway, Happy New Year to all out there.

2008-12-31T00:55:00.002+08:00

Went down to Orchard Cineleisure to catch Yes Man. The show was funny and quite good. Walked around Wisma Atrium and came back to Woodlands shortly after that.

Anyway, 2008 coming to an end in just another 20plus hours and this marks the end of another rotation of the Earth around the Sun. 2009 means another brand new cycle of this nature, another 365 day, 8760 hours, 525 600 minutes and 31 536 000 seconds to look forward.

On a side note, my apologizes for the poor attitude in the MSN conversation yesterday. After all, it is your own decision and i shouldn't comment too much about it. Sorry.

2008-12-29T23:49:00.002+08:00

well 364 days have passed for the year 2008, less than 48 hours to end this year.

A new year awaits for everyone, another set of 365 days to go through for the year 2009. A new year, new aspirations and new wishes. Next year in a new school with a new environment. Everything would be new next year, and hopefully a new me.

Anyway, results would be out rather soon, hopefully everyone can achieve the results of their desire.

Wolves are just special...

I'm Back !

2008-12-28T03:07:00.003+08:00

Hey!!
Two years already since I last blogged.

Saturday morning went for a cycling trip down to Yishun with AngSiang and KunYuan. Went around the MRT track then gone for breakfast at chongpang before making our way back to Woodlands. More cycling for me in future, otherwise sure hit the 3-digit figure.

Nothing else more to blog already.

If anyone has got New Year Party must ask me :)

我还能做什么？